How to Check Friend Requests on Discord

Learn how to view, accept, and manage pending friend requests on Discord across desktop, web, and mobile platforms. Complete guide with privacy settings.

Category
features
Difficulty
Beginner
Last Updated
Mar 2026

How to Check Friend Requests on Discord Desktop

Method 1: Through Direct Messages

  1. Open Discord on your desktop or in a web browser
  2. Click on the Discord logo in the top-left corner or press Ctrl+K (Cmd+K on Mac)
  3. This opens your Direct Messages and Friends list
  4. Look for the “Friends” tab at the top of the main content area
  5. Click on “Pending” in the Friends tab menu
  6. You’ll see all incoming and outgoing friend requests

Method 2: Friends List Navigation

  1. Click the “Friends” icon in the left sidebar (looks like a person with a plus sign)
  2. In the Friends section, you’ll see several tabs:
  3. Click on “Pending” to view friend requests

Understanding the Pending Tab

Incoming Requests

  • Shows users who have sent you friend requests
  • Displays their username, display name, and avatar
  • Options to Accept or Ignore each request
  • Shows when the request was sent (hover over for exact time)

Outgoing Requests

  • Shows friend requests you’ve sent to others
  • Displays pending status until accepted or declined
  • Option to Cancel your outgoing requests
  • Shows how long the request has been pending

How to Check Friend Requests on Discord Mobile

Android and iOS Method

  1. Open the Discord mobile app
  2. Tap the “Friends” icon at the bottom of the screen (looks like two people)
  3. You’ll see your friends list with different tabs
  4. Tap on “Pending” at the top of the screen
  5. View your incoming and outgoing friend requests
  6. Swipe on requests to reveal accept/ignore options

Managing Friend Requests

Accepting Friend Requests

  1. Navigate to the Pending tab as described above
  2. Find the request you want to accept
  3. Click the checkmark (✓) or “Accept” button
  4. The user will be added to your friends list immediately
  5. You can now send direct messages and see their online status

Ignoring/Declining Friend Requests

  1. Find the request you want to decline
  2. Click the X or “Ignore” button
  3. The request will be removed from your pending list
  4. The sender won’t be notified that you ignored their request
  5. They can send another request in the future

Canceling Outgoing Requests

  1. Find your outgoing request in the Pending tab
  2. Click “Cancel” next to the request
  3. The request will be withdrawn
  4. The recipient will no longer see your friend request
  5. You can send a new request later if desired

Friend Request Notifications

Desktop Notifications

  • Red notification badge appears on the Friends icon
  • Number indicates pending friend requests
  • Desktop notification popup (if enabled in settings)
  • Sound notification (if enabled)

Mobile Notifications

  • Push notifications to your phone/tablet
  • Badge count on the Discord app icon
  • In-app notification when opening Discord
  • Red dot indicator on the Friends tab

Friend Request Privacy Settings

Controlling Who Can Send You Friend Requests

  1. Open User Settings (gear icon ⚙️)
  2. Navigate to “Privacy & Safety”
  3. Find the “Who can send you friend requests” section
  4. Choose from these options:

Additional Privacy Controls

  • Allow direct messages from server members: Control DMs without friend requests
  • Enable message requests: Filter messages from non-friends
  • Sync contacts: Find friends through phone contacts (mobile)

Troubleshooting Friend Request Issues

Not Receiving Friend Request Notifications

  • Check notification settings in User Settings → Notifications
  • Ensure Discord has notification permissions on your device
  • Verify friend request privacy settings aren’t blocking requests
  • Check if requests are going to spam or being filtered

Friend Requests Not Appearing

  • Refresh Discord or restart the application
  • Check if you have friend requests disabled in privacy settings
  • Verify the sender typed your username correctly
  • Look in the “Message Requests” folder if you have it enabled

Cannot Send Friend Requests

  • Check if the recipient has friend requests disabled
  • Verify you’re typing the correct username and discriminator
  • Ensure you haven’t been blocked by the user
  • Check if you’ve reached any rate limits for sending requests

Best Practices for Managing Friend Requests

Security Considerations

  • Only accept friend requests from people you know or trust
  • Be cautious of requests from brand new accounts
  • Check mutual servers before accepting unknown requests
  • Consider the person’s profile and activity before accepting

Organization Tips

  • Regularly review and clear pending requests
  • Don’t let requests accumulate for too long
  • Consider using Discord’s message request feature for unknowns
  • Keep your friends list manageable and relevant

Alternative Ways to Connect

Direct Messages Without Friend Requests

  • Send DMs to users in shared servers (if they allow it)
  • Use server @ mentions to communicate
  • Participate in server voice channels together
  • Join group activities or events in shared servers

Server-Based Connections

  • Build relationships through server interactions
  • Participate in community events and activities
  • Use server-specific roles and channels to connect
  • Consider server social features like forums and events

Understanding Friend Request Limits

Rate Limits

  • Discord limits how many friend requests you can send per hour
  • Limits reset after a cooldown period
  • Excessive requests may trigger temporary restrictions
  • Quality over quantity is recommended for friend requests

Friends List Limits

  • Discord has a maximum friends list size (typically 1,000 friends)
  • Remove inactive friends to make room for new ones
  • Consider using Discord’s “favorites” feature for closest friends
  • Organize friends using categories if available

Mobile-Specific Features

Quick Actions on Mobile

  • Swipe left/right on friend requests for quick actions
  • Long press for additional options
  • Use voice commands if supported on your device
  • Quick add from phone contacts (if enabled)

Notification Management

  • Customize notification sounds for friend requests
  • Set do-not-disturb hours for friend request notifications
  • Use notification grouping to avoid spam
  • Enable/disable vibration for different notification types

Safety Tip: Be cautious when accepting friend requests from unknown users. Scammers and malicious users often use friend requests to initiate harmful interactions. When in doubt, ignore the request or ask for verification through mutual connections.

Advanced Friend Management

Using Discord Tags

  • Note down where you met friends using Discord’s note feature
  • Tag friends with mutual interests or shared servers
  • Use custom nicknames to remember context
  • Organize friends by categories (gaming, work, school, etc.)

Friend Activity Tracking

  • Monitor friend activity in the Friends tab
  • See what games friends are playing
  • Check when friends were last online
  • Use activity status to gauge good times to interact